IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrests.

The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrests.
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The supplied pie chart illustrates the number of people arrested
in
Change preposition
from
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 1989 until 1994 and the given bar chart gives information about the most common causes
for
Change preposition
of
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 arrest. Generally, females were less involved in crime than males and the most significant reason for
arresting
Replace the word
arrest
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 was public drinking.
To begin
Linking Words
, during the period of five
years
Add a comma
,years
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 women were arrested approximately one in ten
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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,
while
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 men were more than a
third
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. Obviously, for males around
two thirds
Add a hyphen
two-thirds
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,
on the contrary
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 majority of ladies were not arrested so often. Turning to the bar chart, females were mostly involved in public drinking and assault arrests b around 6
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 more than males.
Moreover
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, women figures about the breach of order and theft were almost equal,
likewise
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, men were caught for theft and assault with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 difference of exactly a
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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. During the research people arrested for unknown reasons were approximately
in
Change preposition
apply
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a small fraction.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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