IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home .

Working and earning an income is essential for the survival of all people. They argue that the majority of employees should change their workplace from office to
home
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
work
Use synonyms
 from
home
Use synonyms
 brings numerous professional and personal benefits which outweigh its drawbacks.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
work
Use synonyms
 from
home
Use synonyms
 is a
lof
(often followed by 'of') a large number or amount or extent
lot
 more comfortable for lots of people.
First
Linking Words
 of all
,
Accept space
,
They will not waste their
time
Use synonyms
 and money to
travelling
Suggestion
travel
,
Accept space
,
which means employees will have more
time
Use synonyms
 for
work
Use synonyms
 and for themselves.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
in
developed country
Suggestion
developed countries
a developed country
, many people have to suffer the tremendous pressure to
work
Use synonyms
 from early in the morning to late at night. They don’t have
time
Use synonyms
 to spend with their children and family and while through
this
Linking Words
 strategy they can complete their duty and job at
home
Use synonyms
 and be able to spend more
time
Use synonyms
 with their relatives.
Besides
Linking Words
, working at
home
Use synonyms
 does not staying inside all day long
,
Accept space
,
people can choose wherever make them feel convenient to
work
Use synonyms
 as
garden
Suggestion
a garden
 or backyard.
Finally
Linking Words
, there will be less traffic on the roads as well as less pollution of
atmosphere
Suggestion
the atmosphere
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, lack of face to face interaction
at
Suggestion
of
office
Suggestion
the office
 would reduce professional development of an employee. In some case, you need to guide as regards their job by supervisor or bosses which would never happen if they want to stay at
home
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: