IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Homework: Write an essay Ensuring that children have regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lessons as part of the curriculum. To what extent do you agree.

#homework #children #exercise #responsibility #parents #schools #waste #school #time #sports #lessons #part #curriculum
In the modern day offsprings should have a regular physical
exercise
. Some people believe that it should be
parent's
Suggestion
the parent's responsibility
responsibility
, while other believes that it should be
school's
Suggestion
the school's responsibility
responsibility
. In
this
 essay I will give discuss both views and give my own opinion. On the one hand, regular physical
exercise
 should be the
responsibility
 of
school
, as children spend
majority
Suggestion
the majority
a majority
 of their time at
school
.
For example
, physical
exercise
 between
school's
Suggestion
school
 lessons, can infix their immunity.
Secondly
, physical
exercise
 at
school
 can rely schoolmates between themselves.
For instance
, a joint soccer game, will develop a team
sprit
the vital principle or animating force within living things
spirit
 between schoolmates.
On the other hand
, regular physical examination should be the
responsibility
 of parents, as they can find for their children the best place for training.
For example
, children want to play baseball, so parents will find for them the best team and best trainer. In my opinion, regular physical
exercise
 should be the
responsibility
 of
school
 and parents, as
exercise
Suggestion
an exercise
 between
school
 lessons important, but
school
can not
can not
cannot
 find for children the best trainer, but parents can. In conclusion, there are convincing arguments on both sides of the debate,
however
, I believe that physical
exercise
 should be the
responsibility
 of academy and parents

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: