You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#minutes #amount #money #books #germany #france #austria #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The line graph illustrates the expenditure on

books

in Germany, France, Italy and Austria over a period of ten years 1995 to 2005.

Overall

, from the

graph

Add a comma

,graph

show examples

we can see that the lowest figure was in Austria in 1995.

However

, Italy had the lowest

Change preposition

apply

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spending in 2005. From 1995 to 1999, the number of people

bought

Correct pronoun usage

who bought

show examples

books

in Germany increased slightly from 80 to 90

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

Nonetheless

, in 2003 the figure experienced a slight decrease from 90 to 85

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

then

rose sharply to 95

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

by 2005. The same trend was in Italy,

total

Add an article

the total

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expense

Fix the agreement mistake

expenses

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of Italian had

Remove the article

apply

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growth from 50-55

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

then

went down slightly to 50

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

by 1999.

Nevertheless

, from 1999 to 2005 the amount of money grew steadily to 62

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

. People in France

also

bought more

books

between 1995 to 1999 from 55-60

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

and

then

from 1999 to 2005 had an upward trend to 75

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

Finally

, in Austria, there was a growth from 30-40

millions

Change to singular

million

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from 1995 to 1999 but

1999

Change preposition

from 1999

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to 2001 the figures remained stable.

Change preposition

From

show examples

2001 to 2005, the amount of consumption

Change preposition

show examples

books

had a significant surge from 40-72

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

Submitted by datmahuethien on Tue May 05 2020

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words books, millions with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

194 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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