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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The chart below shows information about subway systems in three major European cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main information and making comparisons.

The chart below shows information about subway systems in three major European cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main information and making comparisons.
The chart displayed below gives some information about the size of the subway system in three major European cities, mainly: the
London
Use synonyms
 Underground, the
Paris
Use synonyms
Metro
Use synonyms
, and the
Moscow
Use synonyms
Metro
Use synonyms
. Each subway system is differentiated
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 three categories which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the total track length, the number of
stations
Use synonyms
 in operation, and the number of daily passengers. Using the
metro
Use synonyms
 on a
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 basis is necessary for some
people
Use synonyms
 because it is their primary source of transportation to travel from one place to another to disregard the traffic jams caused by pedestrians and
other private and public vehicle
Change the wording
another private and public vehicle
other private and public vehicles
show examples
. So, the
metro
Use synonyms
 is one of the
commonly
Correct quantifier usage
most commonly
show examples
 used
mode
Change to a plural noun
modes
show examples
 of transportation in the whole world. Focusing on the major subway system in Europe, the
London
Use synonyms
 Underground has the longest
path
Use synonyms
period
Use synonyms
 with a distance of 408 km long.
While
Linking Words
 the
Moscow
Use synonyms
Metro
Use synonyms
 and
Paris
Use synonyms
Metro
Use synonyms
 only have a distance of 300 km and 214 km long respectively.
Linking Words
Second
Add an article
The second
show examples
 focal point of
this
Linking Words
 topic is the sum of
stations
Use synonyms
 per operation, the
Paris
Use synonyms
Metro
Use synonyms
 has hundreds of
stations
Use synonyms
 in
operations
Fix the agreement mistake
operation
show examples
 ranging up to 300
stations
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the
London
Use synonyms
 Underground only has 275
stations
Use synonyms
 and the
Moscow
Use synonyms
Metro
Use synonyms
 has 182
stations
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
 is the total
passengers
Correct quantifier usage
number of passengers
show examples
, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 use the
Moscow
Use synonyms
Metro
Use synonyms
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is going up to 6.5 million
people
Use synonyms
 considerably
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 has the
second
Linking Words
 largest
path
Use synonyms
period
Use synonyms
 and the least figure of
stations
Use synonyms
. Followed by the
Paris
Use synonyms
Metro
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 ranging up to 4.5 million
people
Use synonyms
 given that it has the least
path
Use synonyms
period
Use synonyms
 and has the most figure of
stations
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, 3 million
people
Use synonyms
 use the
London
Use synonyms
 Underground even though it has the greatest distance in the
path
Use synonyms
period
Use synonyms
 and
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
 a little bit behind
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the figure of
stations
Use synonyms
 compared to the
Paris
Use synonyms
Metro
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "lastly, second, that is, while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words london, paris, metro, moscow, stations, people, path, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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