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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE. OUT OF A COUNTRY’S HEALTH BUDGET, A LARGE PROPORTION SHOULD BE DIVERTED FROM TREATMENT TO SPENDING ON HEALTH EDUCATION AND PREVENTATIVE MEASURES. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

#prevention #cure #country’s #health #budget #proportion #treatment #education #measures
It is argued that governments should invest a percentage of the treatment’s budget in preventative actions and
education
 on health
instead
 of diagnosis and treatments.
This
 essay completely agrees with that statement because investing in prevention is cost-effective and it allows people to improve their
life
expectancy
 and quality of
life
. The primary reason why prevention is better than cure is that preventative measures and
education
 is less costly than diagnosis and treatments.
In other words
, it is better to educate our society on how to avoid risks and take preventative actions which are ten times less costly.
As a result
, that money could be used by governments for other more beneficial purposes.
For instance
, it has been proven, particularly in Ireland, the
first
 country to introduce a nationwide plan of health
education
, where infectious diseases, the major cause of death, decrease by 15% after one year. The
second
 main reason is that these measures enable people to live more. By educating people, levels of the most common diseases and causes of death will decrease. As a consequence, people will live more and the
life
expectancy
 of society will increase as well as their quality of
life
.
This
 was illustrated in a recent New York Times article that highlighted the improvement of
expectancy of
Accept comma addition
expectancy, of
life
 in New York from 58 to 64 years old after the implementation of
education
 in habits of healthy living
such
 as eating a balanced diet, stop smoking and do exercises regularly. In conclusion,
this
 essay agrees that governments should invest part of the treatment’s budget in preventative measures and health
education
 because it is cost-effective and the
expectancy
 and quality of
life
 will increase.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • health education
  • treatment
  • health budget
  • divert
  • health problems
  • awareness
  • healthy habits
  • behaviors
  • vaccinations
  • screenings
  • check-ups
  • early detection
  • burden on the healthcare system
  • resources
  • infectious diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • quality of life
  • balancing
  • wellbeing
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