IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the results of a survey of the primary exercise objectives and locations of a selected group of adults between 20 and 50 years of age.

The charts below show the results of a survey of the primary exercise objectives and locations of a selected group of adults between 20 and 50 years of age.
#show #results #survey #exercise #objectives #locations #group #adults #years #age
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two charts
comoares
Correct your spelling
compares
compare
 the main
exercise
Use synonyms
 reasons and locations in terms of adults who are aged from 20 to 50 years old conducted by a survey.
It is clear that
Linking Words
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 reason for
people
Use synonyms
 to
exercise
Use synonyms
 is recreation,
while
Linking Words
 there are least
people
Use synonyms
choose
Correct pronoun usage
who choose
show examples
 to
exercise
Use synonyms
 to improve their mood. it is
also
Linking Words
 noticeable that the most frequent
exercise
Use synonyms
 location is the gym.
Two fifths
Add a hyphen
Two-fifths
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 go to
exercise
Use synonyms
 for recreation, which was almost twice as much as
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the purpose of muscle toning. The percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who choose to
exercise
Use synonyms
 to lose weight and improve their mood
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
almost
Add an article
an almost
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 number which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 12% and 10% respectively. 14% of
people
Use synonyms
 choose to
exercise
Use synonyms
 to prevent diseases which
tooks
Correct your spelling
took
 the
third
Linking Words
 place among these five
exercise
Use synonyms
 reasons. Looking more closely at places which
people
Use synonyms
 usually go to for
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
, there was a noticeably
higer
Correct your spelling
higher
proporation
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
people
Use synonyms
prefer
Correct pronoun usage
who prefer
show examples
 gyms which
consists
Correct subject-verb agreement
consist
show examples
 of 35% of
people
Use synonyms
. Parks were the
second
Linking Words
 attractive place that
people
Use synonyms
 like to go to
exercise
Use synonyms
 which took 15% lower than that
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
gyms. The
ramaining
Correct your spelling
remaining
 45% were equally divided
distributed
Correct word choice
and distributed
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other locations which were public
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 venues, playgrounds, and other public places.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words exercise, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "improve" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: