IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Sport is becoming a business with high income for professionals and more companies have involved in financial and in other ways. It is a positive or negative development?

These days, professional athletes can earn a great deal of money as sports have become a lucrative employment.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 trade is supported by many companies in various ways, including sponsorships and so forth. From my perspective,
this
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 is more of a positive development.
To begin
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 with, paying a big amount of money for sports people can be considered beneficial to sports. When these people find their career rewarding enough in terms of earnings, they are more likely to have greater motivation to devote hard work and time to their training.
As a result
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, these athletes are able to enhance their performance in competition and gain more medals for themselves or for their own country. In Brazil, sports have become an industry that receives huge investments from companies like Wilkes and Banco. Brazilian footballers are paid millions of dollars a year just to bring victory to their country, explaining why
this
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 nation has won so many championships. It is advantageous for sports when businesses pour a lot of money and support into the industry. Since HAGL, a prosperous work group in Vietnam, allocated billions of Vietnam Dong to the construction of a sports institute to provide young football players with professional training, the Vietnamese national football team has become much stronger. Being well-trained, they now have a better chance of winning more championships and awards than their predecessors. Other companies in Vietnam
also
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 use images of popular sports idols in advertisements on social media for another purpose. Aiming at all walks of life, they inspire people to have a greater passion for sports, potentially increasing the number of talented athletes. In conclusion, sport can benefit a great deal from becoming a field as it will help to improve the popularity of playing sport and leading a healthy lifestyle, while professional athletes will have more financial incentives to improve their performance.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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