IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You are going on a month training programme to the UK and know that the head of the course would like one of the participants to be the social events' organizer. Write a letter to the Training Organizer. In your letter • expressing your interest in the role • requesting more information about it • explaining what experience you have

Dear Sir, I'm writing
this
Linking Words
 letter in regard to taking part in the training programme as a social
event
Use synonyms
 organizer ,going to be held in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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. Since I have strong credentials and some experiences that make me fit for
this
Linking Words
 position. To commence with, I have a keen interest in organizing any sort of
event
Use synonyms
 as my study background belongs to a similar job. I would like to mention that I just finished my bachelor's in
event
Use synonyms
 organizer ,
in addition
Linking Words
, I have organized various social,charity and educational events in my school. I'm smart in time management, great communication, data collection and other soft skills which I believe are required for
this
Linking Words
 upcoming
event
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Is it anyhow possible
if
Correct word choice
for
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I
Correct pronoun usage
me
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 can get some meticulous information regarding
this
Linking Words
event
Use synonyms
 whether it is volunteering or paid by a company?
Also
Linking Words
, do I need to forward my personal information and reference letter before taking part in
this
Linking Words
 position
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 I hope I will hear a positive response from you in future. yours faithfully, Rav

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coherence and cohesion
Consider adding a subject line to clarify the purpose of the letter.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use a more formal greeting such as 'Dear [Name]' if you know the recipient's name.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea for better clarity, particularly in the first paragraph where multiple points are made.
task achievement
You clearly expressed your interest in the role and provided relevant personal information.
task achievement
The letter has a polite tone and maintains a formal style, which is suitable for the context.
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