IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some say that
music
Use synonyms
 is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
Music
Use synonyms
 has a unique ability to unite people across age
,
Accept space
,
gender and social divides.
Music
Use synonyms
 has international language that everyone can speak, which cause a sense of belonging to a global community. There are a lot of
music
Use synonyms
 festivals that have visitors from all over the world which creates a platform that individuals can meet like-minded people and share their experiences and memories with each others.
This
Linking Words
 creates a global cultural identity and promote harmony across nations, which encourages world peace.
In addition
Linking Words
, it supports a sense of community as well.
For example
Linking Words
, there has been an outbreak named
covid
made for or formed by carving
carved
-19 caused by a virus called corona virus at the end of 2019. There had been a nationwide lockdown. As it was forbidden to go out, the only thing that made people cheer up was
music
Use synonyms
 in these rough days. People signed songs in their houses' windows. Another effect of
music
Use synonyms
 is stimulating one's curiosity to discover other cultures.
This
Linking Words
 leds to encourage one's creativity. I will give an example of myself. When I was a high school student, one day, I heard
music
Use synonyms
 that influences me deeply. It was a Goran Bregovic song, after that, I developed a passion for Slavic history and culture.Since
then
Linking Words
, I have listened Slavic musics.
Linking Words
Moreover I
Accept comma addition
Moreover, I
 wanted to learn Bosnian and Serbian languages to talk with the locals when I visited their country. In conclusion,
music
Use synonyms
 is a way that creates happiness in bad days.
Submitted by ezgi_usta on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: