Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Some say that

music

is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. I completely agree with

this

statement.

Music

has a unique ability to unite people across age

Accept space

gender and social divides.

Music

has international language that everyone can speak, which cause a sense of belonging to a global community. There are a lot of

music

festivals that have visitors from all over the world which creates a platform that individuals can meet like-minded people and share their experiences and memories with each others.

This

creates a global cultural identity and promote harmony across nations, which encourages world peace.

In addition

, it supports a sense of community as well.

For example

, there has been an outbreak named

covid

made for or formed by carving

carved

-19 caused by a virus called corona virus at the end of 2019. There had been a nationwide lockdown. As it was forbidden to go out, the only thing that made people cheer up was

music

in these rough days. People signed songs in their houses' windows. Another effect of

music

is stimulating one's curiosity to discover other cultures.

This

leds to encourage one's creativity. I will give an example of myself. When I was a high school student, one day, I heard

music

that influences me deeply. It was a Goran Bregovic song, after that, I developed a passion for Slavic history and culture.Since

then

, I have listened Slavic musics.

Moreover I

Accept comma addition

Moreover, I

wanted to learn Bosnian and Serbian languages to talk with the locals when I visited their country. In conclusion,

music

is a way that creates happiness in bad days.

Submitted by ezgi_usta on Wed May 06 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

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Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Fully explain your ideas

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