IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

What are the advantages and disadvantages of working in same place as other members of your family? Give reasons or examples to support your opinion?

A job is essential to live in society. Working with relatives can be great
as well as
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 challenging. It is evident
therefore
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 that
work
Use synonyms
 is worship, as it’s a way to pay for our living.
Firstly
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,
this
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 essay will discuss how the members of the same family working in the same firm understand and respect each other.
Secondly
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, it will show how there are occasions
become
Correct pronoun usage
that become
show examples
 challenging and uncomfortable situations.
To begin
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 with, it’s a great advantage of working with relatives in the same organization
are
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
 able to share details about their
work
Use synonyms
 lives in a more intimate and understanding way.
In addition
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,
to increase
Change the verb form
increasing
show examples
 the emotional bonds between family members can actually have a positive
effort
Correct your spelling
effect
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 on individual performance and company results.
For instance
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, if you are struggling to get
along with
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 your boss, your relative is a great way to involved and help you.
That is
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 why we can honestly say that it’s a great privilege to
work
Use synonyms
 together and thoughtful choices will influence how supportive that experience turns out for you
On the other hand
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, working with family members in the same area of
organisation
Add an article
the organisation
an organisation
show examples
 may lead to challenging and uncomfortable situations.
Furthermore
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, emotional ties between people who are related may negatively affect their
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 and professional growth.
For example
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, personal, family problems or
work
Use synonyms
 issues brought to the
Use synonyms
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
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this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may lead to uncomfortable situations
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other employees.
That is
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 why, it is very important to take tough decisions that will have a negative impact on another family member.
To sum up
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, it is obvious that everyone has to
work
Use synonyms
 hard to find a place in the competing world. The things that make working firms so wonderful are the family involvement, the highly personal relationship and commitment, but they
also
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 make them challenging to sustain for the long term.

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should be more clearly presented. Ensure that the main points are well supported with relevant examples and details.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic but lacks a clear and complete response. Ensure that all aspects of the topic are thoroughly discussed and supported with comprehensive ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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