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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Write a letter to your friend who has asked you about a short course, which you have done. Write about the content of the course. The future benefit of the course.

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Part of society would argue that businesses should influence 55+ individuals in senior
positions
Use synonyms
 to retire in order to increase opportunities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the youngsters. Personally, I
compeltely
Correct your spelling
completely
 disagree with
this
Linking Words
positions
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 due to the following reasons.
To begin
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 with, experienced
employees
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 are more profitable to companies, since they rarely have extra costs
such
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 as training and maternity leave,
consequently
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 improving entrepreneurs income that may result in more jobs
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the young generation.
For instance
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, studies have shown that female workers under 30
costs
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cost
show examples
 3 x more than an older one, regarding the extra costs.
Additionally
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, older staff are ideal mentors to the young, as their experience in the field might help them to avoid mistakes not taught in books,
as a result
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, these new
employees
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 could achieve high professional performances faster
tha
Correct your spelling
than
 if they were by themselves.
Furthermore
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, young
employees
Use synonyms
 tend to be less
trsutful
Correct your spelling
trustful
 in senior
positions
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, because they commonly change jobs,
therefore
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employees
Use synonyms
 could lose the whole investment made preparing them. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
 trend, 8 of 10 workers under-35 have changed their work at least once in two years, letting their bosses down.
Moreover
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, the learning process of roles requires working in diverse
positions
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 not only senior ones, thanks to the fact that high-çevel
positions
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 need a general vision of the company, as a consequence,
the young should
Add the word(s)
but the young should also
show examples
 work in every role to be competent to take a higher position. In conclusion,
although
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 it is believed that
olders
Correct your spelling
holders
older
soldiers
 should retire sooner, I do believe that they are more valuable working, regarding financial benefits as well as educational advantages.

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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