Some people think parents should control the behaviour of children from a very young age but others think we should give them more freedom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, many people think that the behaviour of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children
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should be controlled by their
parents
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since
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from
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their childhood
while
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others believe they should be given more freedom. In my opinion,
parents
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are responsible for their
children
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and they have to
learn
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teach
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them how to behave
yourself
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themselves
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in
the
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apply
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society. At the same time, they must give some freedom. The argument in supporting the first idea is that
children
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are not
amature
Correct your spelling
immature
. They have no idea what is going on around them.
In other words
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,
parents
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should be an example of good manners, but if they do not do it,
children
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can absorb bad things
such
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as violence and cheating
that
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is
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are
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shown on the TV because they do not understand what is bad and what is good.
For example
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, my cousin
has grown
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grew
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up in
the
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a
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family where he was not noticed by his
parents
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because they did not devote enough time to their son, and
as a result
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, he has become a cruel and cold person.
On the other hand
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, freedom in education can bring benefits for the
children
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.
To begin
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, it will allow them to make their own decisions. In
this
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way, they will be able to solve any problem they
will meet
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encounter
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on their way, and in
this
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case, the only thing that
parents
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should do is to support and help them. All
children
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in
this
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world have a choice to do what they want in
this
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life.
For instance
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, a daughter can make a decision not to go to
the
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apply
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university because she has a passion that
makes
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making
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a profit.
Thus
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, mother and father should not insist on their daughter if she does not want to embark on
the
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apply
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college. In conclusion, I strongly believe that by learning your
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children
Change noun form
children's
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manners and devoting your time to
the
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apply
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education, you can grow
an
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into an
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excellent person.
However
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, if you
will
Verb problem
are
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not
allow
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allowed
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to make
own
Correct pronoun usage
your own
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decisions , it can have a negative impact.
Submitted by eldar.dusheev on

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task achievement
Make sure to thoroughly develop your ideas and provide more detailed analysis and discussion for each point.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical progression in your arguments throughout each paragraph to ease reader understanding.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and word choice to make your ideas clearer.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction that outlines both perspectives and states your opinion.
supported main points
You provide relevant examples to support the arguments made in your essay.
logical structure
You have a coherent structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
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