With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children.Do you disagree?

The Evolution of the Internet along with the influx of the social media websites in the late 2000’s has resulted in
minors
Suggestion
the minors
(Millennials) to be vulnerable to a number of serious and grave situations. In
this
context, the role of adults in restricting the limit of internet and parental control on the social media posts and other access to the sites should be monitored. I strongly agree with
this
and would be
elaborating
Suggestion
elaborated
in detailed manner in the below paragraphs. On onside, the accessibility due to better bandwidth and connectivity has resulted in deeper penetration of internet to the nook and corner of the world and
also
a leap in technology advancement and funding has resulted in
wide range
Suggestion
a wide range
of
start-ups
the act of setting in operation
startups
startup
start-up
mushrooming ranging from Payments apps, Food
ordering
Suggestion
orders
is ordering
to social media platforms like Telegram, WhatsApp, Facebook, Tinder,
this
combined with
easy availability
Suggestion
the easy availability
of smartphones has resulted in
minors
Suggestion
the minors
getting addicted to the social media post. There have been cases where young girls have fallen in
trap
Suggestion
the trap
a trap
or cheated by their social media friends in the guise of love, Instances where excessive use of social websites has created a psychological and mental imbalance due to addiction. It has created a virtual
friends
Suggestion
friend
and online Games which was not the norm in the earlier generation. If
unmonitored
this
could be deep web where all nefarious activities
happen
Accept comma addition
happen, hence
hence
the responsibility of the adults to create a healthy atmosphere about
negative side
Suggestion
the negative side
of the internet and excessive usage of the social media will have
adverse effect
Suggestion
an adverse effect
on one’s mind. To Summarize, Adults do play an important role in ensuring that children don’t get emboldened in the web of illegal activities,
this
can be achieved by counselling the children at a young age about the ill effects of
Internet
Suggestion
the Internet
and social media but there should
also
be
monitoring
Suggestion
monitored
from the government cyber cells as well.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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