IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Not enough students around the world choose to study science subjects at university. What are the reasons for this? What impact does this issue have on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words

#students #world #study #science #subjects #university #impact #society
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Technology is rapidly changing the lives of people around the world, creating a high demand for educational institution's graduates with a background in
science
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.
However
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, the number of students studying relevant subjects is well below the required level.
This
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 problem seems to be caused by outdated preconceptions, which determine young people’s choices today. One of those preconceptions is that certain subjects are better suited for men. Examples of these include mathematics, computer
science
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, technologies and other fields of knowledge, which are totally dominated by males. In recent decades, a noticeable progress has been achieved by many countries in acknowledging that men and women are equally capable in
science
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. Despite
this
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 big step towards equality, female employees may still feel unwelcome or, in some instances, face evident discrimination in a male dominated work environments.
As a result
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, many women with a natural inclination to
science
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 settle for studying humanities or social
science
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 at the academy, depriving society of their main talent. Another reason for the lack of
science
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 students spreads even wider. In the past, scientists were paid significantly less than professionals in
such
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 prestigious areas,
such
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 as business and law.
Therefore
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, ambitious young people tended to choose highly paid occupations, disregarding their aptitude for
science
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. Things have changed; today jobs in
science
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 are among those with the highest remuneration, but
this
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 trend is yet to be reflected in the university application numbers.
For example
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, in the UK, over half of all international Students still choose to study for a degree in business.
Consequently
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, economies around the world are affected by an oversupply of social
science
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 graduates and a deficit of graduates with technical skills. Not surprisingly, complaints of fresh graduates who cannot find a job are frequent. To conclude, it seems some young people still perceive studying
science
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 as a route towards a mediocre income from a job where most of one’s colleagues are men.
Thus
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, too many opt for a degree in social sciences, creating an imbalanced society, where highly-educated graduates struggle to find a skilled job.
Submitted by dave11karan on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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