Many people work for long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation

Yes, the world’s work culture has changed a lot where most of the people tend to work for extended duration than their regular shift hours leaving less

time

for free

time

activities. I would say in

comparison there

Accept comma addition

comparison, there

is more cons than pros. Let’s go through the overall realistic picture of the cons associated with the above criteria.

Firstly

, I would say staying

long

Suggestion

a long time

time

affects long term health efficiency and causes

detrimental effect

Suggestion

a detrimental effect

detrimental effects

to the body if

leisure

time

is less.

For instance

, if people don’t exercise regularly with intense

cardio

Accept comma addition

cardio, then

then

their stress increases with diseases to follow

such

as obesity, diabetes and what not. All the body parts start losing its energy if very less

time

is dedicated

also

causing problems to

husband wife

Accept comma addition

husband, wife

relationship who might have been waiting to do

leisure

activity together and

this

might disrupt peace of mind.

Secondly

, you would not dedicate more

time

leisure

activities you

would not be fit

Suggestion

would not fit

and well structured.

For example

, when I had been to Short Service Selection for navy, there was a test where individuals had to clear obstacles like jumping from

high platform

Suggestion

a high platform

the high platform

, crossing a small patch of

puddle

Suggestion

puddles

the puddle

with the help of

rope

Suggestion

a rope

, balancing the body on a slanted structure which was difficult for me because of bad fitness, if I would have spent more

leisure

time

Suggestion

time, time

time

well I could have reduced my weight and would have qualified to serve the navy.

Lastly

, I would say if we have kids we cannot spend quality

time

with them if we stay more hours in office, usually many parents take their children to swimming class, so there will be a gap between

such

relations since going to

swimming

Suggestion

swim

with children is

also

a part of

leisure

activities. There might be any

such

examples even can’t cook food if we stay

Suggestion

office and would end up ordering unhealthy junk food. To

conclude I

Accept comma addition

conclude, I

would say there is more cons

then

conjunction used in comparatives

than

pros and it is essential to give more preference to

leisure

activities based on the above mentioned situations.

Submitted by nisarg1990 on Thu May 07 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

345 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-life balance
mental well-being
burnout
stress relief
productivity
economic growth
career progression
skill enhancement
quality time
financial security
leisure activities
physical health
personal relationships
stress-related illnesses

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Many people work for long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

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