Many people work for long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Yes, the world’s work culture has changed a lot where most of the people tend to work for extended duration than their regular shift hours leaving less
time
for free
time
activities. I would say in
comparison there
Accept comma addition
comparison, there
is more cons than pros. Let’s go through the overall realistic picture of the cons associated with the above criteria.
Firstly
, I would say staying
long
Suggestion
a long time
time
affects long term health efficiency and causes
detrimental effect
Suggestion
a detrimental effect
detrimental effects
to the body if
leisure
time
is less.
For instance
, if people don’t exercise regularly with intense
cardio
Accept comma addition
cardio, then
then
their stress increases with diseases to follow
such
as obesity, diabetes and what not. All the body parts start losing its energy if very less
time
is dedicated
also
causing problems to
husband wife
Accept comma addition
husband, wife
relationship who might have been waiting to do
leisure
activity together and
this
might disrupt peace of mind.
Secondly
, you would not dedicate more
time
to
leisure
activities you
would not be fit
Suggestion
would not fit
and well structured.
For example
, when I had been to Short Service Selection for navy, there was a test where individuals had to clear obstacles like jumping from
high platform
Suggestion
a high platform
the high platform
, crossing a small patch of
puddle
Suggestion
puddles
the puddle
with the help of
rope
Suggestion
a rope
, balancing the body on a slanted structure which was difficult for me because of bad fitness, if I would have spent more
leisure
time
Suggestion
time, time
time
well I could have reduced my weight and would have qualified to serve the navy.
Lastly
, I would say if we have kids we cannot spend quality
time
with them if we stay more hours in office, usually many parents take their children to swimming class, so there will be a gap between
such
relations since going to
swimming
Suggestion
swim
with children is
also
a part of
leisure
activities. There might be any
such
examples even can’t cook food if we stay
at
Suggestion
in
office and would end up ordering unhealthy junk food. To
conclude I
Accept comma addition
conclude, I
would say there is more cons
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
pros and it is essential to give more preference to
leisure
activities based on the above mentioned situations.
Submitted by nisarg1990 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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