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Band 4

some people think it is more important for government to spend money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #lifestyle #illness #treatment
It is well said that health is wealth. In
this
 modern era people become more health conscious some masses feel that
government
Suggestion
the government
 had better to utilize money about awareness to people
the healthy
Suggestion
healthier
lifestyle but
Accept comma addition
lifestyle, but
 others say that the
treatment
 of people is mandatory who already suffering from illness. I partially agree with
this
 notion and my viewpoints will be discussed in
upcoming paragraphs
Suggestion
the upcoming paragraphs
.
To begin
 with, a number of points that support the former viewpoint.
First
 and foremost is that if a big chunk of money should be spent in order to people aware
then
 they can protect themselves from illnesses which are communicable.
For example
, these days, all
world
Suggestion
worlds
is facing
Suggestion
are facing
 the problems due to the
corna
the outermost region of the sun's atmosphere; visible as a white halo during a solar eclipse
corona
cornea
cone
 virus because it
disease
 can be spread one person to another by hand shaking and using personal things
of
Suggestion
about
 illness person.
Furthermore
, awareness programs as well as
compagian
a race between candidates for elective office
campaign
campaigning
champagne
 should be organized in every corner of the world about the bad effects of the dangerous
disease
.
Lastly
, a large amount of capital should be utilized for constructing the parks, gardens, gym where individuals can
exercises
Suggestion
exercise
 to keep themselves fit and fiddle.
On the other hand
, there are various factors behind spending the money on treatments.
Firstly some
Accept comma addition
Firstly, some
 people are suffering from dangerous diseases
such
 as cancer and they don't able to
treatment
 the
disease
 because nowadays
treatment
Suggestion
the treatment
 of every
disease
 has more expensive everyone cannot afford. So spending capital on the treatments of these types of diseases is
better
Suggestion
the best
 way. Moving ahead, free campus should be opened for poor people where they can easily
treatment
 along side it free medicines should be provided. To conclude, it is clear from the aforementioned paragraphs that both viewpoints have own pros. But
pervention
the act of preventing
prevention
 is
beterr
(comparative of 'good') superior to another (of the same class or set or kind) in excellence or quality or desirability or suitability; more highly skilled than another
better
 than cure so
awaring
a grant made by a law court
awarding
wearing
alluring
 people about health is good.
Submitted by sparneet0301 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • healthy lifestyle
  • prevent
  • illness
  • treatment
  • public money
  • government expenditure
  • reduce
  • burden
  • healthcare system
  • preventive measures
  • improve
  • well-being
  • invest
  • long-term benefits
  • society
  • necessary care
  • balance
  • address
  • effectively
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