Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this ? Is this a positive or negative development ?

Recently ,
children
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
forced by their
families
to be successful . There are several
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
for
this
and as far as I am concerned , It is definitely
negative
Add an article
a negative
the negative
show examples
trend . There might be two
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
situation.
Firstly
,
children
are expected to achieve success which their parents could not reach in the past . Namely ,
Families
are trying to acquire
their
Change the word
the
show examples
goals they dreamed and could not gain before , by using their child's
life
.
For example
, my father always wanted me to study medicine
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
he always wanted to be a doctor when he was young .
Secondly
, In our age, Success means having a good job and that means money as well . As adults know very well , at the present time , everything is related to money .
Hence
, Parents who
experienced
Wrong verb form
experience
show examples
economic problems during their
life
, wish that their
children
's have
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
life
contrary to their's.
According to
a report published by Erkan Önler ,a family therapist in the UK ,
families
having money issues are found to
be show
Change the verb form
show
show examples
more concern about the future of their
child's
Change noun form
children
show examples
.
Finally
, Because of that kind of reason moms and dads are forced their
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
to be successful . In my opinion , pushing
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
to
be succeed
Change the verb form
succeed
show examples
can cause negative effects , as
this
situation may lead to affect their improvement. Because ıf
children
grow up under pressure , their confidence and creativity which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the most significant
factore
Correct your spelling
factor
factors
to
succeed
Replace the word
success
show examples
will never improve .
Furthermore
,
instead
of pushing
children
to work
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
a specific department
such
as engineering or law ,
families
should encourage their kids to study in a domain that they want . Because doing
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
you like is the only way to reach triumph in your
life
.
Moreover
, being
parent
Add an article
a parent
show examples
means supporting your
children
and standing behind them regardless of failure or success. In conclusion ,
Although
forcing
children
to be
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
is considered by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families
as if it is
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
, in
reality
Add the comma(s)
reality,
show examples
ıt
Correct your spelling
it
may cause failure .
Thus
,
instead
of putting
presssure
Correct your spelling
pressure
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
to succeed ,
families
should support them under all circumstances.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Excessive pressure
  • Academic achievements
  • Professional success
  • Secure future
  • Social comparison
  • Competitive environment
  • Psychological impact
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Resilience
  • Work ethic
  • Emotional well-being
  • Supportive parenting
  • Achievements
  • Life skills
  • Balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: