IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#show #uk #graduate #students #work #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The proportion of
graduates
Use synonyms
 and postgraduates in the
UK
Use synonyms
 who did not
work
Use synonyms
 full-time after graduation in the
UK
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
year 2008 is illustrated in two bar charts, which share a common
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
structure. It can be clearly seen from the two charts
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that four destinations of
graduates
Use synonyms
UK
Use synonyms
 students excluding full-time
work
Use synonyms
 consisting of
part-time
Add an article
a part-time
show examples
 job, voluntary
work
Use synonyms
,
further
Linking Words
 study and out of employment were
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
almost ten times as much as
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
one of university
graduates
Use synonyms
.
In
Change the preposition
At
show examples
 the end of the decade, part-time
work
Use synonyms
 and
further
Linking Words
 study were considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the most popular decisions after graduation.
However
Linking Words
, the number of
graduates
Use synonyms
 continuing their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 was nearly twice as much as the one who worked for a part-time job;
whereas
Linking Words
, the part of students who left universities was equally split into two these choices. In the same
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
period, it is noticeable that the proportion between the unemployed and volunteers after graduation
high
Change preposition
from high
show examples
 schools and universities was approximately five times, which led
voluntary
Change preposition
to voluntary
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 to account for a small minority in total graduate and postgraduate
UK
Use synonyms
 students.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, uk, work with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: