IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#money #time
One of the factors which determines our
life
 is
money
 we earn, one earning more holds more likely expensive habits like going to fancy restaurants, travelling or buying known brand clothing. The ones who are choosing to
work
 less and
consequently
 earn less has more
time
 for themselves. I respect their choice to sacrifice stability over
time
 spent with family and people you love. Humans who are seeking wealth and together bigger capital, as we know, works hard and long hours. Often they do not have free
time
 as much because their
work
 has become the biggest part of the
life
 and often as a lifestyle.
However
, they can provide a better
life
 for their children. Often the need of being wealthy follows fancy habits which not necessarily give fulfilment. Human beings who consciously decide to
work
 less, like four days per week or just having regular 7,7/8 hours per day job, leaves them more
time
 to live their
life
,
time
 for hobbies.
Moreover
, I believe persons choosing
live
Suggestion
to live
 over
work
 has more creativity and alternative lifestyle.
However
, not everything is so perfect when it comes to the pay check day and retire. I strongly believe that our
time
 is the most expensive that you can not exchange into
money
. I prefer
life
 and
work
 balance. Living
life
 and having ability to share my
time
 with family and friends. I elect to have fun than all the
money
 without ability to experience
life
 in all its colours. I think
money
 cannot give happiness, humans need
first
 shelter, food that can be bought by
money
. You cannot buy love, fulfilment and friendship
Submitted by christeenaambi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: