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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #education #recreation #sports
It is argued that the
government
 ought to spend money on educating people rather than on recreational and sports activities. I completely agree with
this
 statement because of the lack of skilled professionals in the community, and by allocating resources on educating youth can help in the development of the economy.
Firstly
, the number of skilful professionals in our community
are
Suggestion
is
 considerably less, which can greatly affect the growth of our community. To elucidate, there are very few well educated
candidates which
Accept comma addition
candidates, which
 are required in large numbers in the field of science and technology.
For example
, a recent article published in The Times revealed that the number of highly qualified doctors
are
Suggestion
is
 less in the hospitals, as compared to the patients needing to be treated.
Similarly
, there are very few IT professionals out in the market, as compared to the demand to be employed in various multinational companies.
Hence
, the authorities should encourage people to take up studies which possess few qualified personnels.
Secondly
, the economy of the country can be improved significantly by providing proper
education
 and training
to
Suggestion
for
 the upcoming generation.
That is
 to say, young population should be provided grants by the
government
, which can help them in improving their communication skills and acquiring knowledge so that they possess sufficient credentials for communicating with foreign delegates. To illustrate, it has been seen that the
government
 of Japan provides free
education
 to people, who are more likely to pursue higher degree or
further
education
 in their respective fields, so that they can deal with the clients from The USA and other countries, which would eventually attract foreign currency into their countries.
Therefore
, I consider it to be the
efficient
Suggestion
most efficient
 method to enhance the expertise to be able to communicate with people on
global level
Suggestion
a global level
. In conclusion, I agree that the
government
 should allocate budget on providing more
education
 to the skilled people to fill the gaps and
also
 by educating youth, it would have beneficial aspects
on
Suggestion
of
 the economy of the country.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental
  • workforce
  • fosters
  • innovation
  • inequality
  • circumstances
  • outcomes
  • hygiene
  • private sector
  • initiatives
  • engaged
  • stability
  • cohesion
  • national pride
  • economic development
  • societal progress
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