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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #hobbies
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Some people think that
difficulty
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 is crucial in a
hobby
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 to make it profitable. I totally agree with the statement at first because our brain has to perceive some challenges in our
activities
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 to make us feel satisfied and
then
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 by the fact that without
difficulty
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, hobbies become boring obligations. The human body needs to feel adversity to make us feel enjoyment. Our brain has different parts that have to be stimulated to produce multiple feelings that we experience every day.
As a result
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 of
this
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, the challenging aspects of these daily
activities
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 have a crucial impact on our body
that is
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 essential to make us enjoy.
For example
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, an article published by the Oxford Journal Gazette demonstrates that
activities
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 need to be laborious to stimulate the specific frontal part of our brain that produces enjoyment. A
hobby
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 that lacks
difficulty
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 quickly becomes an obligation. When people are looking for an activity to repeat many times per week, where they know they are going to invest time in it, the only thing wanted in these moments is entertainment.
Consequently
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, when an activity is not demanding, it becomes a boring situation.
For instance
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, when I started playing tennis when I was 7 years old, I found it extremely easy so I did not choose it as my
hobby
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 because I was often bored and I needed to feel some challenges to find pleasure.
To conclude
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, our head requires a degree of
difficulty
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 in our daily
activities
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 to make us enjoy when we practice them.
Also
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, when these exercises are not demanding, they become no more a
hobby
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 but a boring time. I wholeheartedly agree with the statement and I recommend people nowadays look for challenging hobbies.
Submitted by santos_dij on

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coherence cohesion
While you present a clear position throughout your response, consider developing your main points further with a variety of complex sentence structures to enhance clarity and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Introduce a range of linking words and phrases to improve coherence between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples are fully developed and directly support your argument for added clarity and relevance.
task achievement
Support your arguments with more specific examples or by citing credible sources to strengthen task response.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unique challenge
  • personal growth
  • mastery
  • accomplishment
  • demanding
  • thrill of achievement
  • pastimes
  • fostering
  • sense of community
  • mindfulness
  • stress relief
  • mental break
  • daily stressors
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