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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news events. Which are the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #media #touch #news #events
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A significant part of society accesses social platforms with the main goal of interacting with others as well as acknowledging the recent events.
Although
Linking Words
 there are benefits related to the convenience of these me
dias,
a means or instrumentality for storing or communicating information
media
medals
mediums
some drawbacks regarding the negative human be
havior n
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 can be mentioned. One of the main positive parts of social media is reducing the social distance between people who live apart, thanks to the fact that while using the Internet, in
dividual c
Suggestion
an individual
individuals
the individual
an have instant conversations regardless their locations, as a consequence, people may feel living in the same community despite living miles away.
For instance
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, while in the II World War, a letter would take weeks or even months to arrive in the US from Europe, nowadays, militaries can have daily conversations with their family, resulting in stronger long-term relationships.
Additionally
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, these online platforms expanded the news to beyond formal newspapers, since people started to share local news and events with closed ones,
as a result
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, minorities who might be forgotten in the past, started to have vo
ice.
Suggestion
a voice
Conversely
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, one detrimental consequence of me
dias
a means or instrumentality for storing or communicating information
media
mediums
such
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 as Instagram and Facebook is the pressure of having a su
ccessful imagine,
Accept comma addition
successful, imagine
because most users tend to post photos that only represent the brightest part of their life, creating an illusion of perfection,
therefore
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 followers might feel frustrated and depressed when comparing their lives with others. To illustrate the issue, studies have shown that depression and anxiety statistics are 60% higher among frequent social media users than in other people, as they tend to believe that they have failed in life co
mparing t
Suggestion
compared
comparable
o online friends.
Moreover
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, these online platforms are the perfect environment for the creation of fake news, due to the fact that it is impossible for au
thorities t
Suggestion
the authorities
o control every single user activity,
consequently
Linking Words
 having uncountable unrealistic news that can even change politic scenarios. To conclude, while online features focused on socialization can be beneficial to reduce social distance as well as give voice to minority groups, the fast spread of fake news and the false perception of perfectness may be dangerous to modern society.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster connections
  • geographical barriers
  • disseminating
  • credible sources
  • misinformation
  • mental health
  • social comparison
  • cyberbullying
  • leverage
  • digital marketplace
  • political activism
  • social justice
  • widespread mobilization
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