IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

#crime #rise #activity
Nowadays problems the amount of crime committed is rising each day and became a critical issue with political implementation.
However
, the authorities should provide all actual causes and come up with solutions.
This
 essay is going to discuss causes of crime and possible solutions to prevent it.
Firstly
, low income and unemployment are related to an increase of crime cases. Job loss and stable earnings are precedence of future crimes by virtue of money.
Secondly
, addiction to alcohol and drugs are a core reason of crimes. Addicted people are more likely to commit a case, because they do not control themselves under the influence of substances.
Thirdly
, misuse of talent is a significantly important issue, due to competition in a job market, some talented people cannot find proper job and start to commit crimes.
For instance
, talented IT people can commit cybercrime
such
 as hacking or ransom.
However
, there are some possible solutions could be done to prevent the rise in criminal activity. The authorities may use advanced technologies to solve and prevent lawlessness.
For example
, special agency could surveillance of people and find individuals losing jobs and help them.
Moreover
, the government may
also
 ensure correctional courses with psychologists to improve offenders’ state of mind. Indeed, provide an opportunity to conduct competitions for all people, so that employees or government structures can find talented people among the population.
For example
, cyber-security events, which are often conducted by British recruitment services. All in all, despite the fact that criminal activity is rising, there are some possible solutions to prevent it. Activities
such
 as special correctional courses or help unemployed people could solve crimes.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: