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Band 4

Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying the differences between cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#technology #world #people #communication #differences #cultures
With the advent of newer technologies in the field of communication, people could come under
one
 umbrella. It is adversely affected to some of the communities by mixing up of different cultures to form a new
one
. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the above mentioned statement.
on
Suggestion
On
one
 hand, it became much easier and convenient for the people to gather with a common vision
on
Suggestion
of
 a particular subject or a specific idea, because of the newer inventions
,
Accept space
,
 which made conveying of a message much easier.
For instance
, in a
protest which
Accept comma addition
protest, which
 was organised against the current government of Egypt in 2014, nearly 40,000 people participated merely with a three days of advertisements through the social
medias
a means or instrumentality for storing or communicating information
media
.
Hence
this
 newer
explorations
Suggestion
exploration
 became inevitable and pivotal on the other in the human's life.
on
Suggestion
On
 the other hand,
the newer
Suggestion
the newest
 advancements in
this
are became
Suggestion
are becoming
 a ground and helped to expand the globalization, which gradually helped other cultures to intrude into the indigenous communities.
in
Suggestion
In
 other words, it mixed the cultures with
one
 another to form a new
one
.
For
example most
Accept comma addition
example, most
 of the Indian Metropolitan cities are following western traditions, mainly in the field of fashion and in their dietary, as the western companies took the Upper Hand in these in the Cities.
in
Suggestion
In
 conclusion, though it is inevitable that a minor drawback to happen with any new inventions, but the
advancement particularly
Accept comma addition
advancement, particularly
 in the field of communication made humans to travel a long distance.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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