IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people buy products that they do not really need and replace old products with new ones unnecessarily. Why do people buy things they do not really need? Do you think this is a good thing?

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As millennials of the industrial revolution, adaptation to consumption seems an undeniable fact and playing a role as consistent
consumers
 is inseparable from daily lives. One of the destructive shapes of unhealthy shopping behaviour is excessive purchasing which becomes ubiquitous among people. Two main reasons why excessive buying occurs, lie in
availability
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the availability
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 of infinite brands and unhealthy shopping behavioural patterns. Personally, I believe
this
 trend possesses detrimental consequences. In the first place, over the past decades,
materialistic
Correct article usage
a materialistic
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 lifestyle dictates a shopping style to
consumers
 which is not in accordance with their needs
by
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, by
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 contrast, becoming up-to-date and trendy.
Tendency
Correct article usage
The tendency
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 to buy unnecessities
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been skyrocketing, as the market provides the nuances of the products. Creating
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
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 atmosphere is one of the major marketing strategies to encourage not only companies for massive production but
also
 unconscious excessive consumption by people.
For instance
,
while
 fast fashion companies provide high-copy trendy fashion items of luxurious brands with fair prices, after a short period of time, these products become unusable
due to
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of low-quality materials.
On the other hand
, unhealthy shopping behavioural patterns like; addictive or obsessive behaviours have a negative influence on shopping-related decisions. Detrimental shopping behaviours are symptoms of unstable mental health which may derive from psychological or financial issues. Some research suggests addictive shopping is an insentient effort of
consumers
 to fill their voids and
process
Correct article usage
the process
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 of shopping assists them to ignore their fundamental issues.
To conclude
,
unnecessary
Correct article usage
the unnecessary
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 consumption trend originates from two main factors; tempting
consumers
 by providing an infinite variety of goods through marketing,
advertising
Correct word choice
and advertising
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 policies;
moreover
, psychological and financial originated harmful shopping behaviours. From my point of view, buying excessively will bring about crucial consequences for economies and psychological aspects.

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task response
Ensure a clear and direct response to all parts of the question. Provide specific examples and address the question in a comprehensive manner.
coherence and cohesion
Organize and connect ideas logically within paragraphs and between paragraphs. Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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