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Band 4.5

the role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subject such as information technology

#role #education #children #world #schools #art #music #curriculum #focus #information #technology
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Education has an important role to prepare children for the modern world. Some people think education should remove
art
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 and
music
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 so that children can focus on useful subjects
such
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 as
information
Use synonyms
technology
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. So, in
this
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 text
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 will discuss my opinion. Learning
information
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technology
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 in the
school’s
Suggestion
school
 education can bring a new advancement for a country. Schools and colleges, these days are relying more on computer-based programs. Children who have a
technology
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 based educational background are more likely to acquire a good position in the job market of reputed companies.
Therefore
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, studying
information
Use synonyms
technology
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 is a way to organize young learners for the developed world.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, I would argue that painting and
music
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 should not be eliminated to increase children’s focus on
information
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technology
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.
This
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 could be a deterrent them unaware about their cultures. They might forget own cultural
music
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 and tend to adopt other cultures which pose a significant cultural threat
for
Suggestion
to
from
 a country.
Thus
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, it is obvious that
art
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 and
music
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 subjects are vital for the mental development of youngsters. In conclusion,
this
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 essay discussed the importance of both
information
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technology
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, and
art
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 and
music
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. In my opinion,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 disagree schools should cut
art
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 and
music
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, because
information
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technology
Use synonyms
 learning has equal importance.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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