The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The line graph illustrates the total tally of enquiries that have
done
Add a missing verb
been done
show examples
by the tourist information office
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
method of inviting in person and by letter or email or telephone in a particular city from January to June
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
in 2011. During January, the highest number of enquiries had been done by telephone and
then
it started falling and rising till march, after that it remained relatively stable for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
month,
finally
it has shown
drastic
Correct article usage
a drastic
show examples
improvement from after April to June. The enquiries in person were the least in January approximately 400, and
then
it started steadily rising to almost
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the triple
count
at the end
of the period. The decent
count
was recorded by letter or email,
initially
, it started with an acceptable
count
and
then
it was marginally falling till March and dramatically fell from approximately 700 to 400 between March to April and it showed similar results after April.
Overall
,
although
initially
enquiring in person
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
seemed to be having the lowest
count
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
eventually, it outnumbered
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others, which was as opposed to the enquiry by telephone
count
.
Submitted by r.menaka.m on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "initially".
Vocabulary: Replace the words count with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • number of inquiries
  • Tourist Information Office
  • six-month period
  • increased steadily
  • reached a peak
  • decreased slightly
  • increased dramatically
  • experienced a gradual decline
  • general trend
  • highest number
  • lowest number
  • significant increase
  • tourism interest
What to do next:
Look at other essays: