IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Thanks to mass production.People in many countries can purchase goods in cheaper prices then before.Are there more benefits than problems in this situation?

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Since the Industrial Revolution, factories have gained the ability to manufacture large quantities of goods efficiently, leading to significantly lower prices for many products.
This
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 has sparked a debate about whether
mass
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production
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 is ultimately beneficial or harmful to society. From my perspective, the advantages of
mass
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production
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 outweigh its disadvantages, as will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with,
mass
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production
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 has made essential goods more affordable and accessible to people across different income levels. Many items that were once considered luxuries are now within reach of the average consumer.
For instance
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, cars, particularly electric vehicles, have become more affordable in Thailand in recent months
due to
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 advancements in
production
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 processes and a reduction in material costs.
Similarly
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, the construction industry has benefited from
mass
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production
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 techniques. Houses, which were previously only affordable for a small percentage of the population, can now be built at a lower cost by manufacturing components in factories and assembling them on-site.
This
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 approach allows companies to quickly and efficiently produce entire housing developments, making homeownership more accessible to a wider audience.
On the other hand
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, critics argue that
mass
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production
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 often comes at the expense of quality and uniqueness. When companies prioritize quantity over craftsmanship, products are more likely to have defects.
For example
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, houses built using prefabricated methods may suffer from issues like cracked walls or leaking plumbing
due to
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 the standardized and rapid nature of the construction process.
Moreover
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,
mass
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production
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 tends to create identical products, which can be unappealing to upper-class customers who value exclusivity and originality.
This
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 loss of uniqueness and attention to detail may lead some consumers to prefer handmade or custom-designed alternatives. In conclusion,
while
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mass
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production
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 has undeniably reduced financial barriers and made essential goods more accessible to society, it has
also
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 raised concerns about quality and a lack of uniqueness.
Nevertheless
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, for most people, the benefits of affordability and accessibility outweigh the drawbacks, making
mass
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production
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 a vital aspect of modern life.

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task achievement
Ensure that your examples specifically and clearly relate back to your main argument. For instance, while discussing prefabricated houses, make it clearer how this might affect accessibility or quality compared to traditional methods.
coherence cohesion
The essay can benefit from further elaboration in the conclusion. Consider restating why the benefits outweigh the negatives directly in the closing sentence for a stronger finish.
structure
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion that provide a solid frame for the arguments presented.
task achievement
The use of real-world examples, such as the situation of electric vehicles in Thailand and prefabricated houses, adds practical relevance to the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively introduces and balances both sides of the argument, demonstrating a nuanced understanding of the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Mass production
  • Economic growth
  • Environmental impact
  • Consumer habits
  • Overconsumption
  • Globalization
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Local industries
  • Technological advancement
  • Innovation
  • Quality concerns
  • Sustainable development
  • Job creation
  • Living standards
  • Waste and pollution
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