IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Countries with long average working hours are economically more successful than those countries which do not work long hours to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #hours #work
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Some would argue that working more hours with lead to a healthier economy.
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however
Suggestion
However
, I believe that working overtime would negatively affect individuals' health and their work-life balance and result in lower economic value.
To begin
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 with, prolonged working hours would jeopardize individuals’ health mentally and physically, which does not boost the economy and even can slow it down. By working longer than standard hours, the workforce will be under a lot of stress and pressure which may increase the risk of developing serious health conditions
such
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 as diabetes and heart diseases.
Moreover
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, working for Lindsey hours could
also
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 contribute to a wide range of psychological problems like depression. Another point to consider is that by spending extended hours in the office the employees fail to maintain their work-life balance which can lead to lower job satisfaction and performance as well as lower satisfaction with life and relationships.
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as
Suggestion
As
 a result of overworking people have limited quality time to spend with their family. Some may even find it hard to get married and settle down.
Consequently
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, birth rates would be likely to
fall which
Accept comma addition
fall, which
 leaves the society with an aging population and a lack of young workforce.
Finally
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, companies that require
long
Suggestion
longer
 work hours would recruit fewer people it would be
more economic
Suggestion
more economical
 for them to hire a limited number of people with lengthier work hours rather than recruiting more people with standard working hours.
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this
Suggestion
This
 could Peak unemployment rate in society and the higher the unemployment rate
gets the
Accept comma addition
gets, the
 slower the economic growth would be. In conclusion, due to the adverse effects of long working hours on individuals, it would only harm a country economically.
since
Suggestion
Since
 having a healthy and productive workforce is an integral factor for economic development.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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