IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think it is more important to spend time in developing a successful career while others think it is more important to spend time with friends and family. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #time #career #friends
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, more and more people are becoming career oriented. They feel they need to invest
time
Use synonyms
 in developing their skill set, in order to become successful.
However
Linking Words
, there are few who argue that spending quality
time
Use synonyms
 with family and friends is more important. In my opinion, desires should have a balanced approach between the family and growth. On the one hand, people are working hard to become successful in their lives. They spend their
time
Use synonyms
 wisely.
In other words
Linking Words
, they understand the world is becoming the competitive place to live, so they need to constantly need to up skill, in order to survive.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent survey published in the United States of America, it states that 60 percent of the jobs will be lost due to automation.
Thus
Linking Words
, people are worried about their jobs.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, There are very few people who say that the family life is important.
In other words
Linking Words
, they claim that they are humans and not machines. They prefer spending
time
Use synonyms
 with family rather than always worrying about the future.
Linking Words
in
Suggestion
In
 other words , they understand the world is becoming the competitive place to live, so they need to constantly need to up skill, in order to survive.
For example
Linking Words
 , a recent survey published in the United States of America, it states that 60 percent of the jobs will be lost due to automation.
Thus
Linking Words
 , people are worried about their jobs. In conclusion, It completely depends on the lifestyle that a person chooses for himself. It is not necessary that an individual who has given more preference to the family will not be successful.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: