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Band 6

the pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive.The table shows these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

the pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive.The table shows these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
#land #three #regions #world
The pie chart gives information about the main reasons why agricultural
land
 becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
Overall
, it can be seen from the pie graph information that
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
worldwide
land
 degradation dominated
over-grazing
Correct article usage
the over-grazing
show examples
 field with 35% and with very low indicate other section by 7%.
In
Correct your spelling
Inland
show examples
land
degredation
Correct your spelling
degradation
 by
region
Add a comma
,region
show examples
deorestation
Correct your spelling
deforestation
 shows
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 percentage
especcialy
Correct your spelling
especially
 in Europe.
To begin
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 Causes of worldwide
land
Correct your spelling
degradation
degredation
Correct your spelling
degradation
 deforestation and over-cultivation have
almost
Add an article
an almost
show examples
 similar
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
 deforestation shows 30%
whereas
 over-cultivation 28% in 1990
On the other hand
 in causes of
land
degredation
Correct your spelling
degradation
 by region very low
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
ocupated
Correct your spelling
occupied
updated
 by North America.
There
Replace the word
Their
show examples
 total
land
 degraded shows 5% indicate.
After
this
continent
Add a comma
,continent
show examples
 Oceania countries stay with 13% results.
Very
Correct article usage
The very
show examples
 high total
land
 degraded
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 Europe with 23%. In
this
 continent
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cultivation shows 7,7% indicate and
over grazing
Correct your spelling
overgrazing
show examples
 5,5
Submitted by nodirbekshodiyev94 on

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 90%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words land with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "indicate" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Agricultural productivity
  • Deforestation
  • Over-cultivation
  • Overgrazing
  • Soil erosion
  • Nutrient depletion
  • Land degradation
  • Soil compaction
  • Fertility
  • Preventive measures
  • Sustainable farming practices
  • Environmental impact
  • Economic implications
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