Some people think that all young people should be required to stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Since
education
has been the driving force of the whole society, a large amount of
public resource
Suggestion
public resources
is being paid by
government
Suggestion
the government
, and it is sometimes argued that it is necessary for every child to have access to full-time
education
before 18 years old. I agree with
this ideas
Suggestion
these ideas
this idea
,
although
the situation is complex in real life. Full-time schooling
education
before adulthood could contribute a better job career for young people by providing them a firm grounding and
solid foundation
Suggestion
a solid foundation
. Students who study at a full time
school
would have more opportunities to learn various kinds of subject, like physics and
mathematic
Suggestion
mathematics
, which exercise their logical-thinking skills. Despite the fact that
this
skills
Suggestion
skill
have
Suggestion
has
to be cultivated for a long
peiod
an amount of time
period
and under proper guidance from
teacher
Suggestion
teachers
the teacher
a teacher
, children with these skills could tackle different types of problems and be more productive after entering into the job market.
In contrast
, students studying at a part-time
school
less likely to have a good command of
this
ability because they might not have sufficient practice or be distracted by other things. Another reason why young students should receive full-time
education
is that teachers can help them develop good
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
patterns from a young age and hold them accountable for their
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
. Unlike adults, they are immature and normally not aware of the consequences of their
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
. So, teachers in
school
can help them realize how to behave in a socially acceptable way.
For example
, children can learn how to greet other people
,
Accept space
,
make polite request and show table manner, if they are accompanied
with
Suggestion
by
teachers in a full-time
school
.
On the other hand
, sometimes some students might lack motivation to study at full-time
education
for a few reasons. The most obvious one is that they are from deprived
background
Suggestion
backgrounds
and have to earn a living to support family spending,
therefore
, they
just receive
Suggestion
have just received
some vocational training, which is far from enough for their future development. Another one is that some young people might not do a good job in
academic course
Suggestion
an academic course
academic courses
, even if they had
work
Suggestion
worked
very hard, but still fall behind.
However
, all these situations could be alleviated through government financial support, like subsidies on poor family or construction of “special
school
”. In conclusion, I believe that government should ensure all students have chances to receive full-time
education
before growing up.
Submitted by severusal1207 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • comprehensive education
  • intellectual growth
  • emotional growth
  • social growth
  • evolving job market
  • specialized knowledge
  • extended education
  • reducing inequality
  • essential competencies
  • vocational training
  • economic impact
  • financial constraints
  • infrastructure
  • stress and burnout
  • personal aspirations
  • career aspirations
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