Some people think that all young people should be required to stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #education #years

Since

education

has been the driving force of the whole society, a large amount of

public resource

Suggestion

public resources

is being paid by

government

Suggestion

the government

, and it is sometimes argued that it is necessary for every child to have access to full-time

education

before 18 years old. I agree with

this ideas

Suggestion

these ideas

this idea

although

the situation is complex in real life. Full-time schooling

education

before adulthood could contribute a better job career for young people by providing them a firm grounding and

solid foundation

Suggestion

a solid foundation

. Students who study at a full time

school

would have more opportunities to learn various kinds of subject, like physics and

mathematic

Suggestion

mathematics

, which exercise their logical-thinking skills. Despite the fact that

this

skills

Suggestion

skill

have

Suggestion

has

to be cultivated for a long

peiod

an amount of time

period

and under proper guidance from

teacher

Suggestion

teachers

the teacher

a teacher

, children with these skills could tackle different types of problems and be more productive after entering into the job market.

In contrast

, students studying at a part-time

school

less likely to have a good command of

this

ability because they might not have sufficient practice or be distracted by other things. Another reason why young students should receive full-time

education

is that teachers can help them develop good

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

patterns from a young age and hold them accountable for their

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

. Unlike adults, they are immature and normally not aware of the consequences of their

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

. So, teachers in

school

can help them realize how to behave in a socially acceptable way.

For example

, children can learn how to greet other people

Accept space

make polite request and show table manner, if they are accompanied

with

Suggestion

teachers in a full-time

school

On the other hand

, sometimes some students might lack motivation to study at full-time

education

for a few reasons. The most obvious one is that they are from deprived

background

Suggestion

backgrounds

and have to earn a living to support family spending,

therefore

, they

just receive

Suggestion

have just received

some vocational training, which is far from enough for their future development. Another one is that some young people might not do a good job in

academic course

Suggestion

an academic course

academic courses

, even if they had

work

Suggestion

worked

very hard, but still fall behind.

However

, all these situations could be alleviated through government financial support, like subsidies on poor family or construction of “special

school

”. In conclusion, I believe that government should ensure all students have chances to receive full-time

education

before growing up.

Submitted by severusal1207 on Tue May 12 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

390 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

comprehensive education
intellectual growth
emotional growth
social growth
evolving job market
specialized knowledge
extended education
reducing inequality
essential competencies
vocational training
economic impact
financial constraints
infrastructure
stress and burnout
personal aspirations
career aspirations

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Some people think that all young people should be required to stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Evaluate the importance of branding in business success. and give your own opinion

Some people say that playing computer games is bad for children, whereas others say that it has positive effects on the way children develop. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their childen themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?