Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Will this do good or harm to children?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Since people treat education much more important, parents desire to try every possible measure to facilitate children's learning process. Recently, the phenomenon that parents give their children monetary rewards for getting
high mark
Suggestion
high marks
a high mark
in school has caused wide public concern. Some people indicate that it will distort children's attitude toward
study
, leading them to regard
money
as the ultimate aim of
study
Suggestion
the study
.
However
, I am concerned that giving
money
to children as a
reward
is a good choice, which motivates children to persist in hard working and cultivates children's financial management. To start with, giving
money
to the children as a
reward
can stimulate children to
study
harder. When children get feedback
of
Suggestion
on
about
for
their hard work, the
study
will become a happy job
instead
of just a boring duty. We cannot refute that sometimes
study
could be really boring, doing a lot of exercises, reading passages, working out math problems. So setting a goal for children is necessary for the children to keep their
interests
Suggestion
interest
. If they could use the
money
to buy what they want as a gift, children will pursue the good mark harder.   Another reason drives me to indicate is that, financial thinking as an important ability which is useful to the modern people, meaning that we need to teach our children how to manage their own
money
. During the method that giving
money
as a
reward
, children will have a chance to manage their own
money
. Parents will benefit children not only to their current
life but
Accept comma addition
life, but
also
to their future.
For instance
, my mother used to give me some
money
as a
reward
when I was young. And I used that
money
to start my own account in the bank. After that, I would periodically save some
money
, which has already become a large amount of
money
nowadays. In a conclusion, giving monetary rewards to children can not only encourage them to
study
hard, but
also
foster their financial management.
Therefore
, I reinforce my perspective that it is good for parents to give their children
money
as a
reward
for getting
high mark
Suggestion
high marks
a high mark
in school.
Submitted by tomatomato5686 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: