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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the amount in grams of potatoes, rice and pasta eaten in European country between 1976 and 2006.

The graph below shows the amount in grams of potatoes, rice and pasta eaten in European country between 1976 and 2006.
The given illustration below compares European country citizen's eaten
amount
Add an article
the amount
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 of 3 food products: potatoes, rice and pasta, from 1976 till 2006. As it shows during the first 10 years potatoes showed
high
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a high
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 rise. The highest gram was above 450
grams
Use synonyms
 per person per week.
However
Linking Words
 between 2001 and
2008
Add a comma
,2008
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 the number slowed down, and it is marked as the lowest, about 180 and 110
grams
Use synonyms
.
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
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 the amount of pasta started with
low
Correct article usage
a low
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 position(250
grams
Use synonyms
) and began to rise following 20 years. From 1996 till 2006
this
Linking Words
 food product is keeping its highest score(500
grams
Use synonyms
 per person per week).
However
Linking Words
 in European
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 rice was not eaten much, in comparison
of
Change preposition
to
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 previous products. The highest volume of eaten rice contains approximately 300
grams
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest score showed only about 150
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1999.
To sum up
Linking Words
, in European countries Pasta is eaten more (
800grams
Correct your spelling
800 grams
) than the other two products, which showed only 450 and 310
of
Change preposition
apply
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high
Add an article
a high
the high
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score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words grams with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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