there is more and more violence in movies and on tv, therefore it is necessary for the government to control the amount of it to decrease the violent crime in the society. do you agree or disagree

#violence #movies #tv #government #control #amount #decrease #crime #society

It's true that there are great amount of movies and TV dramas contain more and more violence scenes today. While some m

ay believes

Suggestion

may believe

that by controlling

this

kind of visual works can help reduce violent crimes in the real world, I can hardly agree with

this

idea. V

iolence

Suggestion

Violent

crime

is not directly related to

this

eason since

Accept comma addition

reason, since

there are many other aspects could make a person commit

crime

Firstly

, if one faces unsatisfied salary while he or she still has to take care of the whole family for decades, he may be too stressful to think normally and commit violence

crime

Secondly

, due to unbalanced society structure, someone has been beaten for years in school, he might fight back someday when he can not i

ndure

put up with something or somebody unpleasant

endure

any more. So

For example

, a young boy in our country, who b

orned

brought into existence

born

burned

bond

in a very poor family, when his classmate found out t

he true,

Suggestion

the truth

they bossed him and manipulates him for years, and he

finally

got angry and commit

crime

. So the problem of r

eal world

Suggestion

the real world

is the priority issue of violent

crime

. If the government a

re taking

Suggestion

is taking

takes

control of the amount of v

iolenc

an act of aggression (as one against a person who resists)

violence

in movies and TV, that will

also

arouse some problems.

Firstly

, it will not help p

rotecting

Suggestion

protect

to protect

the diversity of c

luture.

a particular society at a particular time and place

culture

Movies and TV s

eriers

similar things placed in order or happening one after another

series

serials

are a

Suggestion

artistic

creations, the reflections of r

eal world.

Suggestion

the real world

Cutting down one specific kinds of works will send a message to the c

reaters

a person who grows or makes or invents things

creators

creatures

this

area, they will lose freedom & motivation to create. In conclusion, I agree that reducing the v

iolence

Suggestion

violent

scene will have more disadvantages than benefit.

Submitted by iwillcheck2020 on Wed May 13 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Which country is the most beautiful in the world and why? Answer the question by expressing your opinion. Write at least three sentences.
Meaning of beauty depends on people, some love nature, some love big cities and more. For me, the most beautiful city is one which has a magnificent nature. That's why in my opinion, the most beautiful city is one of the US's states Alaska. Its nature, mountains, flora are so wonderful. Especially, wild animals, big predators like bears, wolves make here more exciting.
4
band
Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damages does plastic do to the environment? what can be done by the government and individuals to solve this problem?
In the modern era, The environment is going to badly. Because Nowadays, plastic using is increasing. That is one of the reason for changing the environment in badly. These are effected every people, animals, everything. The following paragraph will discuss with this statement.
4.5
band
Some people think that some individuals are naturally good leaders while others think individuals can learn leadership skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is apparent that all organizations must have heads who play a pivotal in guiding teams and making significant decisions. Some individuals reckon that leadership is a natural gift, regardless of learning, whereas opponents argue that being a leader is one of the ordinary skills, which can be practised. In this essay, both points of view will be distinguished before my perspective is reached.
7.5
band
Few people say that at all levels of education from primary school to university, too much time is spent on learning facts and no enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?
In this contemporary era, it has been vastly observed that theoretical knowledge is emphasized more than vocational training at all educational levels. I completely accord with the notion and will discuss it extensively in the subsequent paragraphs.
5.5
band
Last year you attended a presentation skill course at the Sydney college of Australia. Your new employer has asked you to provide copies of your reports and assignments as quickly as possible.
My name is Sofia Castillo a high school student from Bogota,Colombia. First of all, I am writing to request a copy of my reports and assignment from the course I took last year at the Sydney College of Australia. Also, I would like to know a way to get that paperwork.

there is more and more violence in movies and on tv, therefore it is necessary for the government to control the amount of it to decrease the violent crime in the society. do you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

Which country is the most beautiful in the world and why? Answer the question by expressing your opinion. Write at least three sentences.

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damages does plastic do to the environment? what can be done by the government and individuals to solve this problem?

Some people think that some individuals are naturally good leaders while others think individuals can learn leadership skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Few people say that at all levels of education from primary school to university, too much time is spent on learning facts and no enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Last year you attended a presentation skill course at the Sydney college of Australia. Your new employer has asked you to provide copies of your reports and assignments as quickly as possible.