IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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In many parts of the world today, employers tend to place greater importance on practical
experience
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 rather than academic knowledge when assessing potential candidates. I firmly believe that
worker
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workers
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 should have a fundamental education in
area
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the area
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, as it would make general work
experience
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 easier and greater.
This
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 essay will support
this
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 view and reach a reasonable conclusion. On one hand, valuing
experience
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 in the workplace can lead to increased efficiency and quicker problem-solving. Individuals who have spent years working in a particular field often possess hands-on skills and a deep understanding of real-world challenges.
For example
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, an experienced technician may be better equipped to handle equipment malfunctions than someone who only has a theoretical background.
Additionally
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, experienced workers often require less training, which can reduce costs for companies and lead to faster results.
However
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, prioritising
experience
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 over knowledge can hinder innovation and limit future growth. Academic learning encourages critical thinking, creativity, and the ability to adapt to new technologies and systems.
For instance
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, industries
such
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 as IT, medicine, and engineering evolve rapidly, and without a strong theoretical foundation, workers may struggle to keep up with new developments.
Moreover
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, relying solely on past
experience
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 can result in resistance to change, as some long-term employees may be less open to adopting modern approaches or techniques.
To sum up
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,
while
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experience
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 can foster practical solutions and creativity, placing emphasis on it at the expense of knowledge can stifle innovation and progress. A balanced approach that values both educational background and real-world practice is essential for sustainable success in today’s fast-changing work environment.

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task achievement
The introduction is well-structured, clearly stating your position and outlining the essay's purpose. However, consider rephrasing 'worker should have a fundamental education in area' for clarity. Perhaps you mean 'workers should have a fundamental education in their field.'
coherence and cohesion
In the second body paragraph, while you present valid points, ensure that the transition between points is smoother. For example, a sentence that links the idea of resistance to change with the need for innovation could strengthen the flow of ideas.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples that effectively support your arguments. To further enhance your response, consider adding more examples or explanations as to how these points directly impact the workplace.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic, and your arguments are relevant to the question. The use of examples is effective, particularly in illustrating the points about experience and innovation.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your position, effectively reinforcing the thesis and providing a final perspective on the topic at hand.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • valued
  • workplace
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • mentor
  • colleagues
  • innovation
  • stagnation
  • traditional methods
  • recent graduates
  • theoretical knowledge
  • diversity
  • viewpoints
  • proven ability
  • stability
  • industries
  • technology
  • adaptation
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