IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

Some people believe that not all criminals should be kept in prison, but that some of them should be allowed to do unpaid work to help the community. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #prison #work #community
It is often argued
that is
 more advantageous for community, prisoners and
also
 for the governments that the people who stay in jail to job for the society without salary. I completely agree with
this
 opinion and think that not all criminals did the same delinquency.
First
 of all, I believe that unpaid effort gives to prisoners a sense of motivation. Even if someone stays behind bars, and is not useful, but only spend food,
therefore
 his life has no value. But working for the community could offer pleasure and a feeling of satisfaction.
For example
, one of my neighbours who was in prison for robbery, while he was there he had been working for a road construction company.
This
 person learned how is the trial and when he received his freedom, he continued to work there.
That is
 why it is more important to feel useful for changing a person.
Secondly
, doing unpaid job, they will help the economy of government,
therefore
 the state could spend
this
 money for other costs.
In other words
, there is a strong relation between punishment and benefits of people who stay in the prison useless, they can be punished in another way, namely working for society.
For instance
, if their performance in the streets, they clean roads and do any kind of hard effort in building, they would help in their own way.
Thus
, advantages of unpaid job for community outweigh the drawback of keeping the prisoners in the prison. To conclude, I strongly believe that the work of prisoners without salary is more beneficial than keeping them behind bars because it makes them motivated and their work help the economy of the government.
Submitted by ana.chirita on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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