Some people believe that success in life depends upon hard work and determination, while others believe that other factors like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both view and give your opinion?

In the modern
world
people can get a high status by different ways. Some people consider that personal skills
such
as hardworking is a main key to
success
, whilst others feel that material facilities and good-looking are more prevent. Personally, I think that just a professionalism plays the
first
role in the achievement. I intend to delve into both points of view and performed the mine. On the one hand,
money
and appearance take not the
last
place in the
world
.
For example
, in the country
that is
full of corruption some
reach
possessing material wealth
rich
people believe that they can get
the high position
Suggestion
a higher position
higher position
the highest position
in the company with
help
Suggestion
the help
of
money
and
also
dressing and beauty can be attractive and may have an enormous influence on the
success
.
As a result
, the real personal skills and talent became useless in
such
kind of
world
.
On the other hand
, some
people including
Accept comma addition
people, including
me have
Accept comma addition
me, have
the viewpoint which is against the
first
one.
For instance
, the inventor of well spread fast food restaurant KFC just because of his ambitious and hardworking character got a tremendous
success
and became a well-known person over the
world
.
This
example shows how the person without having an enormous amount of
money
can reach the
success
.
Thus personal
Accept comma addition
Thus, personal
skills and talents take an important part in
successful life
Suggestion
a successful life
. To conclude, the both points of view can exist in
modern community
Suggestion
modern communities
a modern community
the modern community
,
although
I believe that in
future just
Suggestion
the future, just
the future just
hard
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
and determination will be outweigh the
money
.
Submitted by kotovaksu17 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • effort
  • tenacity
  • external factors
  • financial resources
  • favorable appearance
  • perceptions
  • advantages
  • intrinsic
  • extrinsic
  • sustainable
  • facilitating
  • undeniable
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