IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #responsibility #individuals #care #health #diet #governments #citizens
Over the recent decades, declining in the individuals'
health
 due to change in diets has been one the chief concerns for every government. While some people believe that it is everyone's responsibility to take care of their own
health
, others believe that governments should be responsible for improving the
health
 of their citizens. To me, I strongly believe that either both people and governments are in charge of
health
 improvements. Probably, there is no need to mention that everyone is responsible for their own
health
 and diet. And without a doubt everyone must take full responsibility for their
health
. The argument put forward in favour of
this
 fact is that adults have their own willpower to make choices about what they should eat and even the way they prefer to exercise.
However
, the statistics illustrate that children are
also
 becoming less healthy. Over recent years, junk foods have become very popular, especially among children and youngsters. For children's case, parents should encourage them to avoid eating fast foods and must convince them junk foods are low in nutritional value.
Additionally
, there are high in calories, which can lead to obesity.
By contrast
, there are some evidences in favour of
this
 fact that governments should take control of the way their citizens eat and make sure that their citizens are eating healthy. Some people think that governments should allocate better
health
 insurances. And
also
, others think governments have to spend huge amount of money on advertising about healthy foods. To sum up, in my opinion,
first
 of all people should spend much time on reading healthy diet articles and boost up their knowledge about how to keep their body healthy and how they can have an appropriate diet.
Also
, governments should allocate much budget on informing people how to have a healthy body and healthy life.
Submitted by nahid.rezaiesadr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health-conscious decisions
  • self-discipline
  • informed choices
  • personal accountability
  • regulating food industries
  • implementing policies
  • healthy eating
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies for healthy food
  • enabling environment
  • accessible
  • affordable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: