It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than world history. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In my opinion, I think

history

Use synonyms

gives similar learning to us because regardless of people's country, they usually pursue similar value like love, peace, wealth and health. Of course, there are a lot of humans who are totally different from each other, which might be looked too different from local people. I guess

this

Linking Words

is why some people insist that students should focus on their local past than world

history

Use synonyms

. They lived a similar patterned life, which might teach more desirable ways to pupils.

However

Linking Words

, I think

local past

Suggestion

the local past

is not very different from world

history

Use synonyms

as I said. Though foreign people ate different food, wore different clothes and had a different political system, all of them contain other people's priority and value, which can inspire students in a new way. I think the teacher's role is very important.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it would be great to teach local past to students

first

Linking Words

and intrigue their interest in

history

Use synonyms

. Since there are more similarities in local past, children can easily be fascinated with it. And

then

Linking Words

teachers can introduce world past for their students. They can find that though there are some difference between two of them, human's desire and pursuit are general things. In conclusion, I think both of them are so important that either of them cannot be omitted in

history

Use synonyms

education. If students are taught them well,

then

Linking Words

they can have a balanced view.

Submitted by crystaleyes0702 on Thu May 14 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

235 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people feel that learning a foreign language is an essential component of a child’s education. Others feel that learning a foreign language is often a waste of time that can be better spent on learning about technology and other more vocational subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Learning a foreign language seems an initiative priorty for young children educational journey while others belive that it is waste of children time and they need to be exposed to technology and vacational subjects are more important. In my point of view, language ability place an extremely important role which can be used a tool to enhance later in their career.
4.5
band
With the growing population of cities, more and more people live in homes that have little or no outdoor area. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
In the modern era, the population in certain nations is increasing at an incredible rate. Well, due to more occupants, the rate of houses built with no outdoor areas is increasing and a part of the society believes that it is a positive development of the country but remaining to reject the notion. According to my opinion, the latter view seems to be more significant so, the reasons behind this will be explicated in upcoming paragraphs. Thus, will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
5
band
The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
In this jet-set age, with times worth being significantly more compared to an ancient period of life, with everyone working around the clock, chasing their dreams, trying to be the best in an every expect of whatever they do, they somewhat completely ignore their personal life and health. For these reasons being the hot topics around the globe, some people are highly emphasizing on having a four days work week. My school of thought finds me in a split between both views.
5.5
band
Prevention is more important than cure. researching and treating disease is very costly, so it is better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that preventive healthcare should be the main focus of the healthcare system instead of medical research and treatment due to the latter being too expensive. While I agree that preventive measures are necessary to stop diseases from spreading and lower healthcare expenditure, I also believe that allocating financial resources to research and treatment should continue despite their high costs.
5
band
Nowadays, news companies spend a lot of money covering international news. However, local news is more relevant to people's lives and should receive more funding. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
International reports become popular among news companies, making them invest much money on it. However, some people argue that the local reports should be more highlighted, as it should be more relevant to daily lives. In my opinion, I agree with the first opinion that the international news must be spread, as it can be a new learning source and it can also increase the social awareness between international people.

It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than world history. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

With the growing population of cities, more and more people live in homes that have little or no outdoor area. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Prevention is more important than cure. researching and treating disease is very costly, so it is better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, news companies spend a lot of money covering international news. However, local news is more relevant to people's lives and should receive more funding. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?