IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people want to own items, such as cars, clothing and other things, that are made by famous brands. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #items #cars #brands #development
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Nowadays,
appartments
a suite of rooms usually on one floor of an apartment house
apartments
are sprung
Suggestion
have sprung
are springing
spring
 up in the central cities. Some say that
individual living
Suggestion
an individual living
 in
high-
Use synonyms
rise
Use synonyms
appartments feel
Suggestion
apartments, feels
apartments feel
apartments feels
appartments feels
 lonely and unhappy while others say that it is
benefits
Suggestion
benefiting
 to live in high-
rise
Use synonyms
appartments
a suite of rooms usually on one floor of an apartment house
apartments
apartment
. I will explain
advantage
Suggestion
the advantages
advantages
 and disadvantage to live in
appartment
Suggestion
an apartment
apartment
the apartment
apartments
 and
also
Linking Words
 my point view in the subsequent paragraphs. Commencing with the reasons due to which people feel bad to live in
high-
Use synonyms
rise
Use synonyms
appartments
a suite of rooms usually on one floor of an apartment house
apartments
apartment
 and predominant one is less social. To elaborate, some people feel lonely because of their hectic schedule.
people
Suggestion
People
 are busy in their working life and they have no time to meet with their neighbours So, they feel unhappy and lonely.
Also
Linking Words
, Some people are
interoverts
(psychology) a person who tends to shrink from social contacts and to become preoccupied with their own thoughts
introverts
 and they feel shy to meet the other
people thats
Accept comma addition
people, that's
people that's
 why they feel lonely and unhappy.
However
Linking Words
, there are some merits to live in high-
rise
Use synonyms
appartments
a suite of rooms usually on one floor of an apartment house
apartments
apartment
.
Accept space
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they get many facilities in high-
rise
Use synonyms
appartments
a suite of rooms usually on one floor of an apartment house
apartments
apartment
 society like
gyem
athletic facility equipped for sports or physical training
gym
gem
game
, park
ectiera
more than is needed, desired, or required
extra
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 get safety from society and no known person
enter
Suggestion
enters
 in the society without permission.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they can see the scenic beauty of the city and
also
Linking Words
 get
amenties
a quantity of money
amounts
 to live in
high-
Suggestion
a high - rise apartment
high - rise apartment
high - rise apartments
rise
Use synonyms
 appartment and they
also
Linking Words
 have
balconoy
an upper floor projecting from the rear over the main floor in an auditorium
balcony
balconies
 to sit in the evening.So, they get many benefits to live in
high-
Suggestion
the high - rise department
a high - rise department
rise
Use synonyms
 department. To conclude, as per aforementioned reasons, it can be stated that there are many benefits to live in
appartments
a suite of rooms usually on one floor of an apartment house
apartments
apartment
 like safety and
gyem
a contest with rules to determine a winner
game
, park and some disadvantageous less time for
meet
Suggestion
meeting
 with neighbours.In my
opnion
a personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty
opinion
, it is
benifical
promoting or enhancing well-being
beneficial
 to live in high-
rise
Use synonyms
appartments
a suite of rooms usually on one floor of an apartment house
apartments
apartment
.
Submitted by neersonu.02 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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