IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You have seen a job advertised in the newspaper. You want to apply for the job. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter • provide information about yourself • give details of your previous work experience • say why the company should consider you for the job

#job #newspaper #manager #company #information #work
Dear Sir/Madam, Good Day! I hope
this
 letter finds you well. I am writing in
this
 letter to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
apply for the job which was
adversited
Correct your spelling
advertised
 in the newspaper. I am confident that I have the capabilities to
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 the job
postion
Correct your spelling
position
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
per the requirements. I have graduated with
Bachelor
Correct article usage
a Bachelor
show examples
 degree from Anglia Ruskin University in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 with 1st Class honours. After my graduation,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 worked as the B2B sales executive
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the telecommunication industry in Singapore for about five years. In 2017, I was offered to work as the Customer Relations
manager
Change the capitalization
Manager
show examples
 in one of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Singapore most famous cleaning contractors company whereby I have to renew the existing cleaning contracts. Move forward to the present day, I am currently working as the Sales Manager at Metro Wholesale Myanmar which is one of the
top notch
Add a hyphen
top-notch
show examples
food service
Correct your spelling
foodservice
show examples
 companies in Myanmar. I have total
8
Change preposition
of 8
show examples
years
working
Change preposition
of working
show examples
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
 with 5 years in telecommunication whereby the company is seeking favourably for it. I have
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
 that I have
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enough abilities to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 the job
requiremnets
Correct your spelling
requirements
 according to the advertisement. Looking forward to
hear
Change the verb form
hearing
show examples
 from you soon! with warmest regard, Kanny
Submitted by kokoyechitlay92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: