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Band 5.5

In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #someone #job #age #development
In these recent years, it has relatively become common
omitting
Change the verb form
to omit
show examples
 the
age
 criteria from the application form.
In other words
, nowadays the
age
 of an applicant doesn’t seem to be the main criteria. In my view, I believe it is a positive development.
This
age
 issue in applying for
jobs
 has been very controversial around the world. Many
people
 face it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when they
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
 to apply for a job. There have been numerous complaints about
employers
' behaviour in front of elder
people
.
Additionally
,
this
 is called Ageism. Ageism is stereotyping or discrimination against individuals or groups on the basis of their
age
.
Moreover
, there have been numerous complaints against
employers
 who treat elder individuals with no respect. Many
people
 have lost their
jobs
 because they are considered old.
Also
, based on evidence, elder
people
 complain about being refused interest-free credit, a new credit card or travel insurance because of their
age
. Many
people
 believe these attitudes against elderly individuals are highly inequitable. All the negations have led
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
local governments to come up with new regulations. Nowadays, there are some signs of hope.
For instance
, it used to be like,
employers
think
Wrong verb form
thought
show examples
 that manual
jobs
 which
require
Wrong verb form
required
show examples
 a lot of physical skills might be demanding for elder
people
, so they
reject
Wrong verb form
rejected
show examples
 them immediately and didn’t even take their possible abilities into consideration. Or even when a company wanted to hire an attorney or an accountant they refused to hire an elder person, they would have thought maybe their knowledge is not updated and they cannot work professionally with computers or advanced software.
However
, nowadays there are some signs of hope.
And it
Correct word choice
It
show examples
 seems like in many countries they examine elderly
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 skills.
To sum up
, maybe it is true that some sorts of
jobs
 are not appropriate for every
age
.
Though
Correct word choice
However
show examples
 it still
doesn’t get
Verb problem
is not
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
right for
employers
 to ignore applicants or treat
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
 a not apt way.
Submitted by nahid.rezaiesadr on

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Language
Grammatical errors present. Use of more varied vocabulary is recommended.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • age discrimination
  • inclusive workplace
  • workplace diversity
  • workforce experience
  • equality in hiring
  • age-related stereotypes
  • demographic changes
  • economic growth
  • social security systems
  • consumer spending
  • non-discriminatory policies
  • bias
  • fair practices
  • retirement age
  • intergenerational collaboration
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