IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#sales #consumer #goods #power #society
It is often doubted that whether advertisements will exaggerate the original function of goods today. Personally, I would partly agree
this
 opinion because the advertising is not the only factor to decide the population of productions. On the one hand, there are several reasons why people have a negative impression on advertisements.
Firstly
, it is widely believed that people are bombarded with commercials today, and once a new product would like to market itself, it would be seen everywhere has advertising boards, televisions or newspapers. Influenced by
this
, people will be familiar with the product immediately, and they even may be enchanted by the description of advertisements, which
finally
 achieving the consumption behaviour that sellers are happy with.
Secondly
, as media reports, there is much news showing how people are misled by the wrong information that advertisements provide and buy failure goods that cannot meet their expectations.
On the other hand
, it is unfair to blame advertising for the errors that people made by themselves. For some products, they need a good advertisement to increase their popularity,
in particular
 those traditional creations, which have lost many opportunities to keep their competitiveness in the fierce commercial market.
As a result
, it is
also
 necessary for consumers to improve their ability to tell the good from a variety of marketing products. Yes, it is true to keep
this
, because my word count is not enough. In conclusion, while some advertisements may have a potential impact on people's decision making process, sometimes, as consumers, being careful is
also
 necessary.
Submitted by kazan.hui on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: