IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #advertisements #products #lives
People usually purchase certain unnecessary items under the influence of advertisements while others are of the view that they come to know
of
Suggestion
about
 various products that they had never known existed due to these advertisements.
Although
 advertisements give us a variety of purchase options that may be enhance our living standards, Still, in my opinion, it is true that a good number of people become prey of attractive advertisements and are coaxed into buying many things that they might never use. We are in the age of media where only those things that are visible would be sold. So, in
this
 race of visibility, more and more companies are devising advertisements to allure the consumers. These advertisements are shown in a way that appeases the public either sentimentally or aesthetically. They depict a certain item as a means of gaining popularity or status in society.
For example
, Coca-Cola, in its advertisements
show
Suggestion
shows
 that people drinking it, are
more cool
Suggestion
cooler
 and chilled out.
This
 instantly appeals the younger generation and they fall into the trap of purchasing
this
otherwise
 unnecessary product.
Similarly
, when people go to buy daily items
such
 a groceries,
etc
continuing in the same way
etc.
 from departmental store, the display inside the store is structured
such
 that people end up buying things they have not thought of buying.
For example
, just as we enter the shopping aisle, there are displays of discount on various items. Even the personnel working there would tell you of the items that you can get at a discount on that day. Flagships are
continuously
seemingly without interruption
continually
 put
on
Suggestion
in
 our path for us to buy these things whether or not they are required by us.
Thus
, I feel that advertisements are doing us more harm than any good. That said, I must
also
 put in the fact that many new and useful products have been successfully implemented. Yet the negative effects clearly outweigh the positive sides of advertisements.d
Submitted by fly2horizon on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • persuade
  • manipulative
  • unnecessary
  • excessive
  • artificial needs
  • desires
  • consumers
  • oversaturation
  • impulse buying
  • financial problems
  • inform
  • educate
  • features
  • benefits
  • innovations
  • raise awareness
  • social issues
  • positive behavior
  • enrich
  • well-being
What to do next:
Look at other essays: