Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their m ain subjects. Others believe that it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Whether spending
time
on other
subjects
or giving all the
time
and attention to studying for only one qualification bears some consideration.
This
essay is
to
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apply
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the side that agrees with the theory
points
Correct word choice
and points
show examples
out that learning other
subjects
in order to make learners become wide-range
knowledge
citizen
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citizens
show examples
and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have more occupation choices It should be claimed that learning more
subjects
means the learners have more
knowledge
of all
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
of life.
This
belief is based on the fact that learning widely means
knowledge
is
also
wide.
As a result
, people should change the way they think about
this
problem. It can
also
be obtained that learning other
subjects
means that there will be less
time
to spend on the mains.
This
is based on the thought that the concentration
willbe
Correct your spelling
will be
separated.
This
may be true, but we should
also
focus on other aspects and face new challenges. From the writer's point of view, occupation
chaces
Correct your spelling
chances
are very important to later life.
This
is widely accepted
bacause
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because
once
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
has been taken, money goes into
wallet
Add an article
the wallet
a wallet
show examples
.
For example
, people would like to do more than one job at a
time
so the money they earn will be maximised, a result from a study showed. In conclusion,
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
range of
knowledge
and job choices are the two key factors that actually make
this
author believe in the theory that learners should study more than just
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
subjectss
Correct your spelling
subjects
subject
.
Therefore
, a majority of people should rethink
about
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apply
show examples
this
issue and change their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
that these
subjects
will not take
much
Rephrase
as much
show examples
of their
time
as they thought.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction should clearly present both views right from the start. Currently, it's not completely clear that you are discussing two perspectives. Also, make sure to restate the essay question in your introduction more explicitly.
supported main points
Make sure each paragraph clearly presents one idea and supports it with relevant examples or details. Some paragraphs need more specific examples to be convincing.
logical structure
Try using more transitional phrases and cohesive devices to seamlessly connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Making these connections clearer will help improve the logical flow of your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure each of your ideas is clearly elaborated upon. You have good points, but they need further development for better clarity and understanding.
complete response
You have addressed both views in your essay showing a fair understanding of the topic.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your argument, aligning with your opinion.
supported main points
Your writing demonstrates an awareness of the benefits of studying additional subjects, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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