IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Globalization has both advantages and disadvantages. Discuss both and give your opinion.

In
this
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 modern era,
everyday
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every day
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 our
world
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 is becoming more and more
globalized
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globalised
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. It has been stated constantly that
this
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Use synonyms
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
show examples
 has its own specific benefits and drawbacks.
This
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 essay will delve into possible pros and cons
and
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, and
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ultimately
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ultimately,
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 I will present my own perception.
To begin
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 with, one dispute put forward in support of
Use synonyms
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
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that
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is that
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this
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Use synonyms
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
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 has led to huge and significant
alter
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alterations
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 in the entire
world
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. First and foremost, technology has spread notably increasingly with
Use synonyms
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
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.
Moreover
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,
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globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
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 has led to information
increases
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apply
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.
In other words
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,
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 information growing
due to
Linking Words
Use synonyms
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
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, cultural awareness has
rose
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risen
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. More specifically,
nowadays
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nowadays,
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 the majority of people are aware of others' customs and beliefs.
Additionally
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, perhaps the main benefit of
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globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
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 is that by establishing companies, especially well-known companies in various countries, the level of revenue in many countries has truly increased, and many economists are of the opinion that
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globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
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 has caused
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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boomed
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to boom
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. It has lifted people out of poverty.
Conversely
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, there are myriad reasons behind
globalization
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 disadvantages.
For instance
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, many people who are studying or working in other overseas countries
,
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apply
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they
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apply
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usually encounter
with
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apply
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racism.
Furthermore
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, one survey conducted by
California
Correct article usage
a California
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 university found
out
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that
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 over 30% international students are being bullied because of their nationalities.
Also
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, sometimes they find it difficult and challenging to interact with locals
due to
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 different languages. In my view,
Use synonyms
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
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 has made
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world
Correct article usage
the world
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 a place for everyone to become successful, especially in the economic dimension.
In addition
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 to
this
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, by increasing in supply
goods
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of goods
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 and services, they create various job opportunities. And because of
this
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 unemployment rate has reduced all over the
world
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. In a nutshell, without a doubt, there are various reasons behind
this
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, whether
Use synonyms
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
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 is beneficial or harmful.
Although
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,
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apply
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 I strictly believe that the advantages
overweigh
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outweigh
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 the disadvantages.

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structure
Plan your essay with four parts: an intro with clear thesis, a para on pros, a para on cons, and a final para with your view.
cohesion
Use linking words to show how ideas connect, like First, Also, But, However, In addition.
cohesion
Make one clear point in each paragraph and stick to it. Do not mix many small ideas in one line.
grammar
Fix grammar: use simple, short sentences; check subject–verb form and verb tense.
lexis
Use common words. Avoid long or hard words. Check spellings (for example, 'outweigh').
evidence
Give one clear example for each point. If you mention a study, say it in a simple way and keep facts simple.
content
The essay tries to cover both sides and give a view.
structure
The writer states a view in the end.
content
Some ideas on how globalization can bring jobs and lower poverty are shown.
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