IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that in present times, women do get as much equality at work as men, while others believe that even today women have to fight their way to succeed at work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Gender
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Equality
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 at
work
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 has been gradually achieved in recent
times
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.A fair amount of people
agrees
Correct subject-verb agreement
agree
show examples
 that
women
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 get equal
equality
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 at
work
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 as
men
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while
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 others disapprove.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides of the essay in detail.In my opinion, there are still some areas where we need to improve
gender
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 discrimination. On one hand, many
companies
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 are organizing events to provide more opportunities for
women
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 to make their
companies
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 a far better place in terms of
gender
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equality
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.Many
companies
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 are giving, offering higher positions to
women
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employees
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 as same as
men
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.A lot of countries are now launching awareness
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 among the citizens to give
work
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 opportunities to the
women
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 and make their country a harmonious place for all.In recent surveys, many
researches
Correct your spelling
researchers
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 claim that the
companies
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 which have an equal
gender
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 ratio
gender
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 ratio of
employees
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 achieve more optimum results than the
companies
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 which is more
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men oriented
Add a hyphen
men-oriented
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.
Besides
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this
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 many
companies
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are
Verb problem
have
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also
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 encouraged
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women's
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women
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 to take more leadership roles and to become role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
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 for other
women
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employees
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.
On the other hand
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, there are still some areas where
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women's
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women
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lagging
Wrong verb form
lag
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 behind
men
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.
According to
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the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 survey by the
Times
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 of India, there are only 20%
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women
Change preposition
of women
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 in leadership roles in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies
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.
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Women's
Change noun form
Women
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 are always not offered managerial positions
due to
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 the fact that they won't be able to commit 100% because they need to take care of their family and children.
However
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this
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 is not
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 in all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cases, in recent
times
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, many
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women's
Change noun form
women
show examples
 are able to give
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 commitment and hours to their
work
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 as
other's
Change noun form
other
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 male
employees
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. In conclusion,
gender
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equality
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 has improved in recent
times
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 we still need to
work
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 towards encouraging
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women's
Change noun form
women
show examples
 and
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
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 the support they need.
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Work place
Correct your spelling
Workplace
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 will become better if they have
gender
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equality
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.

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical organization of the essay to ensure a more coherent and cohesive structure. The arguments should be presented in a more organized and connected manner.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay effectively responds to the prompt by providing a more comprehensive discussion of both views and presenting a clear opinion. The examples provided should be more relevant and specific to support the arguments.
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