Many people think happiness relies upon the responsibility of individuals, others think that is affected by other factors. Discuss both views and state your opinion

#people #happiness #responsibility #individuals #factors

People have different views on factors which

effect

the conscious subjective aspect of feeling or emotion

affect

the happiness. In my opinion, an individual can stay happy irrespective of the obstacles in

life

. In the contemporary era, it is very difficult to achieve self content in

life

This

means that the person’s emotions is not attached to any materialistic things

life

fortune, wealth etc.

Moreover

, they may be able to conquer the obstacles in their journey of

life

Such

people live an ascetic

life

and has a very minimalistic approach towards living.

Hence

, their emotions are not

effected

acted upon; influenced

affected

and they have a complete control on it.

For example

, in India there are

group

Suggestion

a group

of Monks who have donated their wealths but they still enjoy their

life

peacefully.

On the other hand

, one evident factor, which people believe effects prosperity is to possess a lot of wealth.

This

is because there is a belief that money can buy happiness. To elaborate, the basic standard of living is not possible to achieve without the money.

Secondly

, most people attach their prosperity with the achievements in

life

For instance

, a student may find prosperity in achieving

first rank

Suggestion

the first rank

in school. All the material factor

have

Suggestion

has

a negative impact on an individual because his happiness is tied to a condition where if it is not fulfilled he may get into depression. According to a recent study, people whose emotions are

effected

acted upon; influenced

affected

by outside factors tend to be anxious in nature. In conclusion,

although

a goal in

life

is important as it motivates an individual to perform

well but

Accept comma addition

well, but

the emotions should be in control of an individual.

Submitted by sjdfljksdf on Fri May 15 2020

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

individual responsibility
personal mindset
proactive steps
self-improvement
socio-economic status
relationships
environmental conditions
external factors
positive attitude
pursuit of happiness
facilitate
hamper
proactive engagement
sense of achievement
conducive environment

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Many people think happiness relies upon the responsibility of individuals, others think that is affected by other factors. Discuss both views and state your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some parents purchase their kids a large number of toys to play with.What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having lot of toys.

students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people argue that immigrants should adopt the local culture when immigrating to a new country. An alternative view is that they can adapt to a new environment by establishing a minority community. Discuss these two views and give your opinion.

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only person traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers.